'Never overstay your welcome': Couple reverse guilt-trips their inconsiderate family when they refuse to host another messy family gathering

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    Cheezburger Image 10395175168
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    AITA for refusing to host family gatherings because I'm tired of always being the one responsible?
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    My partner and I bought our first home, we don't have children and we don't plan too and we both earn well. Our home has 3 bedrooms and is huge. We have a massive kitchen and living
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    room area and the backyard is massive too. I used to bartend so naturally as soon as my partner and I bought our home I suggested we host Thanksgiving last year.
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    While I enjoyed hosting, it's become a significant burden ―both financially and time wise.
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    Since we are it seems the expectation is we host. For the past year, we've been the one hosting all family gatherings, after Thanksgiving we hosted Christmas and my mom's birthday. We had to
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    hire cleaners after all 3 events and only a few family members chipped in. I recently told my family that I won't be hosting anymore and suggested that we rotate responsibilities or meet at a restaurant instead since they want us to host Thanksgiving again.
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    Some family members are upset because we are having to split over multiple houses and some family live out of state but given were we live it was easy for everyone to meet. I feel like it's time for others to share the load, but now I'm being seen as the difficult one. AITA for refusing to host?
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    StAlvis 22 hr. ago Galasstic Overlord [1921] ΝΤΑ What in the world are these guests doing to your poor home that you need to hire cleaners afterwards? Are people at least bringing dishes with them, or expecting you to cater everything, too?
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    dishonestlake OP 21 hr. ago They bring their kids. We also wanted everyone out of the door asap and even when some offered to clean we just wanted our home back. I'm also blessed with a very large family. We do it potluck style so everyone brings food.
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    StAlvis 21 hr. ago Galasstic Overlord [1921] Well I assumed there were kids there. But what the are they DOING? If you forced them to leave before they can clean, and they bring their own food, I'm confused why you feel this is a financial burden.
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    dishonestlake OP. 21 hr. ago We buy and cook multiple turkeys and buy the drinks (with some contributions) We set up everything, clean beforehand. The after is the hard part. There was mac and cheese stuck on a brand new rug
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    Powersmith 20 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [22] asking the parents to pay for rug cleaning is a reasonable normal response to that
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    BreakingUp47. 21 hr. ago NTA. Go on a cruise over the holidays. That's what my wife and I do.
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    demonofsarila · 22 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA rotating to everyone's house is normal, what? I mean I've been to some family gatherings where it's always sort of the head of the family that hosts, but they're the oldest and have the most money and just rent out a place for everyone on their own free will.
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    If you don't want to host a party you don't have to host a party, it's your house. I mean I wouldn't expect to never ever host again, but yeah there's nothing wrong with sharing, or like you said going out to a restaurant or other public venue.
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    ninjastarkid 21 hr. ago Enthusiast [5] Nta that's why you never overstay your welcome and always be the best guests. I can't imagine hiring a cleaner for after a family party.
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    dishonestlake OP 21 hr. ago edited 12 hr. ago My family is huge. There are kids present. The couch had food on it, drinks were spilled, the rug needed a deep clean. I'm also a neat freak and need everything mopped, vacuumed and especially the toilet sanitized and the oven deep cleaned.
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    Brilliant_North2410 18 hr. ago OP You don't sound like you have the personality to host large gatherings. You said yourself you a neat freak. People offer to help but you can do it better. Do yourselves and your family a favour and host or co host somewhere else.
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    Any_Answer9689 - 21 hr. ago NTA. Have you told family how much of a hassle and expense it is to host? Maybe they would be more responsible if they knew. You could also put covers over the sofas. Who spilled- kids or adults? You could have a house rule kids can only eat at table.
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    dishonestlake OP 21 hr. ago We set up an entirely separate area for the young kids with waterproof table cloth, mats underneath the table to minimize mess but people don't listen and bring their plates to the sofa.
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    Dangerous_Stay_63 21 hr. ago NTA, this is exactly why I stopped hosting. I have two kids, one is 2 the other 7. I have no help and no one is willing to help. They all come to my house eat, drink, and leave.
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    dishonestlake OP 21 hr. ago That's so mean. Especially if you have kids. Good on you for stopping.

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